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Anxiety Triggering myself


Staff member
Does anybody else suffer with this?

I will be having a perfect day, absolutely no issues at all and then all of a sudden I feel like I don't deserve it so I do something negative to trigger myself. I then get trapped in a pit of despair and really struggle to pull myself around.

Tonight I took my daughter to her first dance competition in 18 months and it was superb. She didn't win, but thats okay - but I have come home, got them to sleep and now am just listening to sad music and sending myself down that hole... but I won't stop because I deserve to feel this way.


Sometimes I wonder why I am this way.
I do this to myself a lot. Sometimes I let little things build up and it makes me spiral, other times I'll find myself thinking along masculine lines of thought and my brain kicks into overdrive because of my issues there, and then sometimes absolutely nothing happens and my brain decides I just need to pull myself down. I know exactly where you are right now, and I know I wouldn't stop myself, either, because I usually feel as though I need it, as well. I hate that it happens, so I know it's not a willful thing.

Hopefully you turn it around and start to feel better, I know sometimes just having that down period is enough for me, like my brain needs to know I've spent time being exceptionally depressed so that I can be ok again, so if your brain makes you feel that way, as well, I hope that you can start to feel better.
My therapist talked about self sabotaging last week and how I do that. I dont do it on purpose but it happens in every thing I have in my life. Hobbies, work and social. I can be fine one moment and spiral fast the other.

Do you feel sometimes you dont deserve things in your life? Like good times with your Child. Or love or anything?
Yes, I do feel that way @Mira. I have spent my entire life sabotaging relationships because I feel inadequate.

I do it to my wife to some extent too.

If we have a disagreement, sometimes I try and push her to hate me - because I feel I deserve it.
When the 'moment' is upon you don't feed it. Listening to sad music just feeds the fire and you must do whatever you can to extinguish it. Feelings of self-doubt and particularly of self-worth are manifestations of the negativity in you. Two halves vying for control and you are just an innocent onlooker wondering what to do. So, when that 'moment' is upon you fight the negative sod that wants you to suffer and do something positive to feed the beneficial side of your personality.

Listen to up-beat happy music, look at photos that remind you of good times you have had with your family and think of all the good times you 'will' have in future days. Watch a movie or TV series that makes you laugh. Ask your wife to join in with those happy feelings so that you can both share the good moments.

There are so many positive things you can do, but that nasty little bugger is lurking in the shadows just waiting for you to show signs of weakness so it can pounce and bring you down - don't let it!

I understand that it is easy for others to talk about the positives, doing it and realising that you are not unworthy and that you are entitled to be happy are the two best weapons you can bring to bear.

Understanding that you are worthy is something you need to express within yourself. Look at what you have around you, a loving family, a decent job, helping others by opening up this site and knowing that we have your back. So many good things that you should be proud of - these are the important achievements you have made, so think about them and not what lurks in the shadows, shine a light in those dark places and the negativity will dissipate like vapour.

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