I never thought I’d be in a group of men discussing my emotions. Honestly, the concept would have bothered me about three months ago. Like countless others, I was brought up with the belief that to be male was to be quiet, get on with things and handle the hardships of life on your own. But that silence was consuming me from the inside out.Two months back, I followed my heart and stepped into Andy's Man Club with no idea what lay ahead of me and not even knowing if I'd be able to say anything. I drove past the gates for three weeks, until I found the courage to park up. I still didn't leave my vehicle, until I was approached by an Andy's Man Club facilitator. I immediately felt at ease as he brought me inside and showed me around. I found what I didn't even realize I was missing: understanding, connection, and room where I didn't have to put on any masks, be judged, or be in any pressure.
The first time I ever sat down in that circle, I listened. I heard men's stories—some like mine, some quite different from mine, but all authentic, all courageous. There was strength in it. They were sharing their truth, sometimes with sobs, sometimes with chuckles, and it was genuine. I came to see eventually that I wasn't by myself. My struggles weren't mine alone. And above all, I came to understand that I wasn't ashamed of how I felt.
I opened up by the second week. Barely. But to me, it was huge. It was as if I'd unlocked the door I'd had closed off for years. Every subsequent week since then I've talked a little more, and with each time I do, I feel lighter. Not that all of my problems disappear, but that I'm no longer carrying them by myself. Andy's Man Club has absolutely transformed my life. It's taught me to redefine what actually is strength. Strength is not about keeping quiet and saying that everything is alright. Strength is honesty. Strength is turning up. And sometimes, strength is listening.
I now anticipate Monday nights—no longer out of necessity, but as they have now become a lifeline. It's where I feel safe. It's where I'm heard. It's where I'm healing.
To any man out there who is struggling, who thinks they have to struggle on their own—you don’t. I was you. And I can tell you from the other side, it's alright to talk.
#ItsOkToTalk